Lyrics

All Night Long
No Way to Meet A WiFi
The Power Is In Your Shoes
Beggars Can't Be Schmoozers
Karaoke Life
Little Pink Dot
Now I Am the Old Man
It's A Sunny Day
I Cry the Moon
The Hunger
No More War
Chicken Chasers (bonus track)

All Night Long

My baby loves me
Though she’s light years above me
She just kisses and hugs me
All night long

My baby needs me
That’s why she feeds me
Never has to plead with me
All night long

(chorus)
All night long
All night long (gang)
All night long
All night long (gang)
All night long
All night long
All night long we dance
The dance of love

My baby wants me
When we’re parted she taunts me
Ooh, how her kisses do haunt me
All night long

My baby woos me
She cuddles and coos me
She finds new ways to move me
All night long

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No Way to Meet A Wifi

Now I’ve reached a time in life
When I’d like to find a wife
But I keep running into
the same catch

All the women I meet
in the bars and on the street
may be nice but they’re really
not a match

I become a suitor
when I turn on my ‘puter
and scores of single ladies
grace the screen

It’s such a nifty plan
With my user name at hand
Wooing women at my leisure
Such a scream

I’m just searching for a little romance
But before I even get a chance
I google in my pants

There are some yahoos on line
who think ebay is just fine
and they’ll buy themselves a hooker
from the east

But I’m a caring guy
and I cannot tell a lie
I’d have better luck if I
were a priest

Submitting my profile
Completely in denial
I can’t believe my love life
is so blue

Now here comes my reply
Like a sharp stick in the eye
No member here is hoping
to meet you

I’m just searching for a little romance
But before I even get a chance
I google in my pants

So I check my connection
and on further inspection
Something good could be coming
after all

A dame says I match her
My God it’s Margaret Thatcher
No wonder I’ve been chugging
Geritol

If my future looks like this
I’ll just pass up wedded bliss
Maybe lonely ain’t as lonely
as it seems

To find your perfect smile
Register for the free trial
You’re just one click away from
your sweet dreams

I’m just searching for a little romance
But before I even get a chance
I google in my pants

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The Power is In Your Shoes

O-O-O-O O-O-O-O

When your mom forgets your birthday
When your daddy stops sending checks
When your sweetheart doesn’t love you
When your life’s a total wreck
When you’re down to just two options
and you don’t’ know which to choose
Don’t expect someone to save you
The power is in your shoes

O-O-O-O O-O-O-O

Your baby taught you how to love
She taught you how to live
She taught you about romance
She taught you how to give
But the greatest lesson of them all
Was this little piece of news
While walking out the door she said
The power is in your shoes

The power, the power is in your shoes
We can love forever
and sashay together
down the broadest avenues
But the power, the power is in your shoes
No one else can save you from yourself
The power is in your shoes

O-O-O-O O-O-O-O

When the lemons you were given
won’t turn to lemonade
When the cavalry arrives too late
to save the light brigade
When the melting of the icecaps
ruins your vacation cruise
When you finally decide to change the world
The power is in your shoes

O-O-O-O O-O-O-O

You can celebrate revival
of the city great and grand
Or pray for the survival
of the sacrificial lamb
Every time the words “last call” ring out
another sucker gets the blues
When you step into the sunshine
The power is in your shoes

 The power, the power is in your shoes
We can love forever
and sashay together
down the broadest avenues
But the power, the power is in your shoes
No one else can save you from yourself
The power is in your shoes

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Beggars Can’t Be Schmoozers

Here’s to all the “normals”
Workin’ till their tired
They save every penny up
until they retire
Their glass is half-full
Their kids are alright
They read the bible
on Saturday night
They get married forever
They don’t ever stray
It’s no damn fun being normal
anyway

So here’s to all the schmoozers
Who live at the top
Ridin’ in limousines
and they don’t ever stop
They get to decide
how much is in your glass
They can say that you are cool
or they can burn your ass
We’d like to be schmoozers
if we only could
But we seem to lack the knack
of the schmooze

So here’s to all the beggars
who wrestle with life
The cutting edge poet
The chef with no knife
They struggle at their work
They can’t even steal a kiss
They’d like to be normal
but there’s something here amiss
When they try to schmooze
they fall on their face
Cause beggars can’t be schmoozers
Anyhow anyway

Beggars can’t be schmoozers
They’re not one and the same
Beggars get whatever they get
While schmoozers play the game

We sing of the beggars
the rich and the poor
Sometimes they’re happy
but they never feel secure
Empty or full
they’d settle for half
But they cannot remember
where they put the glass

Cause beggars can’t be schmoozers
They’re not one and the same
Beggars get whatever they get
While schmoozers play the game

Beggars can’t be schmoozers
They’re not one and the same
Beggars get whatever they get

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Karaoke Life

I have breasts and I feel like dancin’
I have breasts and they’re in her shirt
I touch her breasts when we’re romancin’
You touch her breasts, you’re gonna get hurt

I own a house with 53 stories
I own a house with 53 more
I bought my houses in times of glory
Filled them with junk I got at the store

It’s a karaoke life
Singin’ someone else’s tune
Prayin’ for more reverb
Endin’ much too soon
With words you can’t remember
So you’re starin’ at the screen
Like a karaoke mirror
reflecting what you’ve seen
And please, don’t forget to tip the deejay

I have friends who drink till their sober
I have friends who think till they’re high
Most of my friends do not come over
I sit alone and wonder why

I love God and I’m glad God loves me
I love God so I guess I’m saved
I look up cause God’s above me
I want to see just where she shaved

It’s a karaoke life
Singin’ someone else’s tune
Prayin’ for more reverb
Endin’ much too soon
It’s got words you can’t remember
So you’re starin’ at the screen
Like a karaoke mirror
reflecting what you’ve seen
And please, don’t forget to tip the deejay

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Little Pink Dot

Planted here, in this garden spot
Trying to find your little pink dot
I can barely breathe; my neck is sore
But all I want, is to give you more

Give you more
Give you more
Give you more
Give you more

Little pink dot
It’s my favorite spot
So wet and hot
Your little pink dot

I’m practicing the golden rule
‘Cause this ain’t the stuff they teach in school
I’m going slow we’ve got the time
Your moans tell me I’m doin’ fine

Right there
Right there
Right there
Right there

Little pink dot
It’s my favorite spot
So wet and hot
Your little pink dot

The party’s on; you’re soft as silk
And twice as sweet as mother’s milk
Temperature risin’; I’m warm as toast
Here comes the part I like the most

Give it up girl
Yes, yes, yes, yes
Oh… my… God
YES!

Little pink dot
It’s my favorite spot
So wet and hot
Your little pink dot
Little pink dot
Little pink dot

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Now I Am The Old Man

I was not a gracious youth refined by poetry
The world I saw was black and white, no in-betweens for me
Colors and soft edges that delight me so today
Were diversions sought by fools who never got their way

Once I met an old man and sang a simple song
Claiming I was just like him, but I was so wrong
What I mistook for loneliness in his vacant eyes
Was my reflected vanity in a cynical disguise

Now I am the old man, what have I won?
Now I am the old man, what have I done?

I once marched for peace and love to satisfy my pride
Then traded in my walking shoes for a fancy foreign ride
Pursuit of worldly pleasures replaced the greater good
Climbing closer to the top every chance I could

The emptiness surrounding me is a monument to fear
No outside force can penetrate or forever hold me near
Softer hearts than mine beat to a stronger, deeper call
I brandished a big stick because my heart was small

Now I am the old man, what have I won?
Now I am the old man, what have I done?

As each step takes more effort I feel how time has flown
My most cherished memories are those I’ve never known
The love I haven’t given, the love I’ve not received
The tears I didn’t cry, the burdens not relieved

The things I have collected are all that I am due
A windfall for the landfill when my days are through
As my body turns to dust, in its rightful place
No one will remember me, gone without a trace

Now I am the old man, what have I won?
Now I am the old man, what have I done?

If I could have one moment to repair this broken life
I’d ask if you would dance with me as if you were my wife
With the kindness I’ve discovered in these final years
I’d fill your heart with sunshine and kiss away your tears

Mustering my courage, can I change this wrong to right?
Have I lived too long in darkness to move toward the light?
If I believed in God I’d get on my knees and pray
Give me this one moment before I slip away

Now I am the old man, what have I won?
Now I am the old man, what have I done?

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It’s A Sunny Day

The dolphin told the manatee he got a new job
thrilling folks on the beach
The manatee inquired where he could apply
The dolphin said it’s just a figure of speech

It’s a sunny day
It’s a sunny day
I’d like to sing something profound
But I don’t have anything to say
It’s a sunny day
It’s a sunny day
It may not be tomorrow
Think I’ll go outside and play

Moses said to Jesus, “Christ, you know, life is rough,
They put a burning coal in my mouth”
Jesus told him, “If you’d take these god damn nails out of my limbs,
we could rent a car and head down south”

Cause it’s a sunny day
It’s a sunny day
If I were living for tomorrow
I’d learn how to pray
It’s a sunny day
It’s a sunny day
I've got paradise out my window
Think I’ll go outside and play

Swarthy foreign people with long funny names
Say they want nuclear power
Moralistic hypocrites with enemies to blame
Get angrier by the hour

But it’s a sunny day
It’s a sunny day
Living in fear
never does pay
It’s a sunny day
It’s a sunny day
I’ve got my sunscreen to protect me
Think I’ll go outside and play

Soon the clouds will come and we’ll be in for some rain
Then I will be all wet
I’ll dance between the raindrops till the sunshine returns
And live my life without a regret

Cause i t’s a sunny day
It’s a sunny day
I’ve got so many smiles
to give away today
It’s a sunny day
It’s a sunny day
I'm so glad you're here
Let's go outside and play

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I Cry the Moon

“Let’s not be lovers”
No, not that again
We’ll always have the good times
And now, be best of friends

Sometimes there’s a glimmer
of feelings we both hide
I reign in my emotions…
Keep them locked inside

As we laugh and down a beer or two
your eyes draw me in
But what’s the point of playing
a game we cannot win?

Still my heart, how it races when I
see you in the moonlight
And I search my memory for the sweetest tune

But as the rooster crows
You awaken with another
And I cry the moon

I’m happy you found someone
to help you through the night
After all, it’s not my place
to hold you soft and tight

Though we’ve traveled well beyond
the point of no return
Your lips pressed to another’s…
The thought still makes me burn

Yes, we both know I wouldn’t mind
some company as well
So I smile as I leave you
and slip into my shell

Now my head begins to brace against
another night without you
Wishing these old feelings for you
might end soon

And as the hours crawl by
You linger with another
And I cry the moon

Yes I tell myself it’s over
Over and over
But midnight finds me wailing like a loon
Dreaming you’ll come over
Over and over
But it’s over, and I cry the moon

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The Hunger

My tummy may be full
But I want another bite
My bed may not be empty
But I want to hold you tight
I may be bathing in the sun
But I cannot see the light

My brain does not remember
my body or my soul
My heart was disconnected
before the rights were sold
These boots were made for walkin’
but I’ll drive till I’m too old

I have a hunger more expansive than all outdoors
And I need to take more than I need
My credit card is recognized in all the finest stores
I’m a connoisseur of gluttony and greed
Just livin’ in my head
Just livin’ in my head

The walls are black with mold
Can’t afford to fix the roof
I was gonna sue my neighbor
but the termites ate the proof
I’d become a better person
but I might seem aloof

Put your arms around me baby
and squeeze me till I care
Take this apple from my eye
and put your picture there
Let me hunt for your treasure
Let me know when I’m there

I have a hunger more expansive than all outdoors
And I need to take more than I need
My credit card is recognized in all the finest stores
I’m a connoisseur of gluttony and greed
Just livin’ in my head
Just livin’ in my head

Why can’t I stop thinking?
It’s my dirty little war
My mass destruction weapon
I don’t want to think no more
Cause I cannot feel the thunder
or cheer the final score

Auction off my memory
Give my things away for free
Trade my mansion of reason
for a trailer by the sea
Perhaps I’ll feel the tidal wave
surge over me

I have a hunger more expansive than all outdoors
And I need to take more than I need
My credit card is recognized in all the finest stores
I’m a connoisseur of gluttony and greed
Just livin’ in my head
Just livin’ in my head

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No More War

Take your lessons from the Bible, the Koran, or the Torah
It’s clear we’ve got more problems here than Sodom and Gomorrah
The Great White Father in Washington told the bad guys to “bring it on”
Now bullets are flyin’, children are dyin’, but the victory is far from won
Let’s tell the politicians we’ve got something worth living for
No more war, no more war, no more war, no more war

If you’re a Christian or a Muslim, a Buddhist or a Jew
You know that war is waged by rich old men without a clue
Now the Pentagon and the weapon whores have a plan for you and me
to turn the war on terror into World War Three
We better get our acts together, and our heads out of the sand, if we want
No more war, no more war, no more war, no more war

They tell you that there’s more to peace than the opposite of war
But it’s easier for them to drop ten bombs than to tell you what we’re fighting for
I’ve never met a single person who made me want to kill
If we stop the war we can make the peace, it only takes our will
The schemers say we’re dreamers, but America was built on dreams, let’s dream it
No more war, no more war, no more war, no more war

The bombs they drop can’t bring us peace, while they’re tearing us apart
And their idea of sacrifice is a magnet on your car
We’ve got to change their tune in Washington, Tehran and Beirut
They can fool the people some of the time, but they cannot stop the truth
If we sing out altogether, we’ll be too great to ignore,
No more war, no more war, no more war, no more war

No more war, no more war, no more war, no more war

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Chicken Chasers

When you’re pecking for some pleasure
The rooster crows at night
When you’re pecking for some pleasure
The rooster crows at night
He’s a good chicken chaser
Pleasing chicks is his delight

They like the way he struts his stuff
Crooning for a taste
They like the way he struts his stuff
Crooning’ for a taste
And when it comes to good lovin’
He ain’t got time to waste

When he crows for romance
The hens all gather ‘round
When he crows for romance
The hens all gather ‘round
When he catches his chickadee
He never lets her down (crow)

Chicken Chasers
Born to croon
We hope you like
Our cocky little tunes

Chicken Chasers
Born to croon
We hope you like
Our cock-a-doodle-do

Chicken Chasers
Born to croon
You know it’s true
Not just any cock will do

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